I like my sex mixed with concussions.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
