i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
