Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
