guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
