It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
