i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
nutella sex= disaster
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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