If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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