Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
