Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize