Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
