Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
