i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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