at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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