The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
