oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
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I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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