Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
When are your genitals available?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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