Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My vagina just recognized that song.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
