Whod you bang
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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