I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Your face is a jimmy john
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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