pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
