clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Acid is not a monday night drug
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
