Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize