Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
