moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
