For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
