and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
i think my cat just said my name.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
