You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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