What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize