the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize