Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there