who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.