Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!