I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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