i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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