I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
