I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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