You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
