I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
