You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
