OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
