did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
