dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
