Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
