How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
