there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
