i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
