he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
