in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
