I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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