i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
