i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
