WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
