that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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