you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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