Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
