I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
