I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize