we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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