how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Help. Why am I so naked?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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