I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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