I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
