She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
