Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize